Bobbi-Cue
By Country Girl
Bobby could barely concentrate as he slowly seethed inside. At every turn, Lauren would remind him how he had deserted the Lynch twins the night they were beauty pageant contestants. He had been thinking about letting it go. Then she 'innocently' mentioned that his legs were meant for a skirt and Spike had heard her. Bobby had had enough.
He turned his dire thoughts for revenge and struggled to assume an innocuous expression so Lauren, sitting near him, wouldn't notice. Slowly, Bobby focused back on the Anatomy lecture Professor Clark was giving. It had to be the driest lecture Professor Clark had given. Charlie Brown's teacher was more interesting. Unfortunately, this lecture was worth thirty percent of the class grade and would have a lab procedure afterward. Bobby didn't realize that Professor Clark was going to give him the greatest gift a man could receive - a chance for revenge.
"In closing, class, for those of you still awake," Professor Clark raised his voice and slapped the yardstick against the chalkboard. "As I was saying, after this monumental lecture, we will begin our lab procedures to test our knowledge. I will assign each group of two a different procedure."
Several groans filled the classroom.
"Each procedure is different, so those of you relying on smart people, must do an assignment on your own. What a terrible plight. I believe I'm feeling an emotion of sympathy for you," Professor Clark droned. "Oh no, actually that is only the bean burrito I ate for lunch. Please excuse me."
Many of Bobby's classmates began to cringe.
"Anyway, I will now begin to read off the list of groups."
"Oh, how exciting," Professor Clark attempted a joke and failed quite miserably. He started assigning teams alphabetically. "Alyssa Anderson please step on down to make acquaintance with your partner Glenn Morris." Glenn Morris hurriedly placed his pen in his pocket protector and straightened his glasses as the cheerleader joined him. Nearby, Lauren snickered and Bobby bit back a laugh at Morris trying to put on the moves.
"Next, Bobby Belden please join your partner Lauren Sears." Professor Clark continued on down the list as Bobby tried to decide whether he liked the idea of working with Lauren or not. She was cunning and diabolical, but she was also an annoying nuisance when she held secret knowledge. Bobby shrugged, couldn't be any worse than being friends with the Lynch twins.
Lauren casually ambled over from her usual perch to where Bobby sat. "I'm glad I didn't get the dweeb," Lauren jerked a thumb in Glenn's direction.
Bobby just scowled and reconsidered his earlier sentiments. He wasn't sure he could maintain the upper hand with her like he did the Lynch twins. This didn't bode well. "Hello, earth to Bobby," she waved a hand in front of his face. "Don't tell me you're still mad over the Bobbi with an I ordeal," she rolled her eyes.
"Let it go," Bobby growled from clenched teeth.
"Whatever. Grow up and take a joke," Lauren rolled her eyes.
"A joke is something funny. You're just obnoxious." Bobby fought the urge to stick out his tongue.
"So are you and your friends. You guys practically run this school and hold no respect for women. All I ever hear from your crowd is either how great my butt looks in a skirt or how I should go fry something in the kitchen," Lauren finished her sentence with disgust.
"I do respect women. Just not you," Bobby charmingly grinned.
Their argument was interrupted as Professor Clark once again used his yard stick to call attention to what he was saying. "Since everyone is now in groups, I'm going to use the remaining few minutes to assign procedures. Anderson/Morris, your group will be observing snake eggs by dissection. Belden/Sears, congratulations, you two get the honor of dissecting a pig."
Professor Clark's announcement was met with a muffled gasp of disgust from Lauren. Bobby honed in on the skills he had mastered at the hands of his elder siblings and nonchalantly feigned concern.
"Something wrong?" He whispered near her ear.
Lauren nervously glanced around and motioned for him to come closer. "I can't stand the thought of dissecting a pig."
"Why not?" Bobby raised a brow and leaned back in his chair, arms clasped overhead.
"I just can't," Lauren insisted.
"Whatever, you're going to have to whether you like it or not," Bobby emphatically stated.
"No, I'm not," Lauren ground out.
"Yes, you are," Bobby stipulated.
Professor Clark once again interrupted their argument by dismissing class. The two continued to argue as they left the lecture hall.
"Bobby, I mean it, I cannot dissect that pig."
"Get over it. I didn't think you were that squeamish."
"It's not about being squeamish. It's about the simple fact that - "
"That what? You're a big baby. Wah-wah."
"Bobby, I'm not joking. We used to have a pet pig on the farm back home and I was hoping I wouldn't get this assignment so I don't feel like I'm butchering him."
Bobby started laughing, "You're kidding me? Right?"
"No, I'm not kidding you," she punched him in the arm.
"Well, you've got forty-eight hours to make peace with the pig. I wish you luck, sister." Bobby strolled away.
“Bobby, you’re going to regret this,” Lauren shouted to his retreating figure.
“Nope, you are,” Bobby whispered to himself with a devilish grin.
~~~~~~~~
As Anatomy class resumed, Bobby found himself looking forward to the coming activities as he decided to pay Lauren back for her role in giving Spike ammo. Life was a battlefront and she had launched a grenade in his direction. He was interrupted from his joyful thoughts when Lauren arrived. She looked rather pale considering they hadn’t even been given the pig yet. His smile widened. This was going to be gruesome.
“Class, Glenn is currently handing out the group folders I’ve prepared. Each contains the detailed instructions and worksheets you will need to complete this assignment. I will now begin passing out the animal you’ve been assigned to dissect. Isn’t this wonderful?” Professor Clark’s voice was like a fly trying to escape out the window. It just buzzed and buzzed without ever saying anything worth noticing.
“Well, are you ready to begin?” Bobby gathered the cutting supplies from their table basket.
“No. I’m not doing anything of the sort,” Lauren stamped her foot in anger.
“Well, looks like you don’t want to pass,” Bobby carefully eyed her.
Lauren just glared at him and gritted out, “Fine, hand me the packet and I’ll read.”
“Sorry, but wrong answer. Girls are used to using a needle and scissors for sewing. You are going to do the cutting and probing.”
Lauren’s jaw fell open and she just stared at him. Bobby shrugged.
“Either that, or I butcher this poor innocent pet into a mangled mess and we fail.”
“Bobby,” Lauren warned.
“Listen Lauren," Bobby lowered his voice to make sure no one else heard, "I’ve spent a week dodging the bullets you keep aiming at me. We had an agreement that by ratting the twins out, my secret would be just that, a secret. Now, I’ve had to tiptoe around hoping no one figures out that I was there, not only in drag, but that I also left my frat brothers in a mess. You pushed the wrong button when you purposefully mentioned it around Spike. Deal with it.”
Lauren didn’t answer as Professor Clark handed them a tray with their pig in it. Even Bobby was a little repulsed. The thing was slightly discolored and had a little dried blood around its nose. Not to mention the hideous odor of formaldehyde. Bobby gulped and Lauren gagged. Suddenly all of Bobby’s thoughts of revenge and his memories of Mart’s gym sock in his mouth paled in comparison. This was disgusting.
Bobby cleared his throat. “I guess we should begin, right?”
Lauren silently nodded beside of him.
After adjusting to the sight and smell, Bobby’s thoughts returned to revenge. He shot Lauren a roughish grin as he slipped the papers out of her hand and replaced them with a pair of scissors.
“Looks like we need to open the pig’s stomach and take a gander at what lays inside. We are specifically looking for its liver and its heart. So I suggest cutting from the, uh, lower leg area to its neck.” Bobby briefly blushed. There was no delicate or appropriate way to phrase such things.
“Listen, punk, if you’re going to make me do this, then at least be man enough to face the facts of life.” Lauren surprised him by slicing into the pig’s underside with a scalpel and then inserting the scissors to begin cutting. This was supposed to be his moment of revenge and she was taking that away from him by actually being tough instead of wilting. In fact, it was he who should have been ashamed. As she reached the sternum, she had to continue to cut through it to reach the heart cavity. She flinched as the scissors sliced through bone while Bobby jumped back and cringed. The sound of snapping bones didn’t seem to faze her like it did Bobby. He experienced a moment of panic that maybe she was used to snapping bones. She snapped him out of his fears once she reached the pig’s neck and insisted on seeing the directions so she could begin the next step.
“You’re supposed to be sick. Not bossy,” Bobby complained without thinking.
“Excuse me?” Lauren stopped studying the directions and gave him her full attention.
“What?” Bobby tried to free himself from his thoughts.
“What did you just say?” Bobby had a feeling, from the tone of her voice, that she wasn’t happy and he’d done something wrong. It was very reminiscent of the time his mother found out he had given Mr. Lytell her favorite necklace to buy a can of pop on the way home from school. Uh-oh! flashed through his brain.
“Um, I don’t know. I was daydreaming.” About revenge, he silently added.
“Bobby Belden,” she growled.
“Um, yeah, Lauren?” he sheepishly shrugged.
“You just said I was supposed to be sick, not bossy. Want to elaborate on that?”
Bobby felt his ears turn red. That darned Johnson gene again. He was going to apologize to Trixie the next time he went home. Maybe then God would let him quit blushing. It wasn’t manly.
“Not really,” Bobby quietly answered, slowly inching away.
“Freeze.”
Bobby didn’t know how one word could fill his stomach with such dread. He briefly wondered if the pig was suffering the same ailment, given its facial expression.
“Did you do this on purpose?” Lauren jabbed a finger into his chest.
“Do what?” Bobby attempted to draw in his horns and replace them with a halo.
“Did you make me do the cutting just because you knew I didn’t want to dissect a pig? Just so you could get back at me?” If possible, Bobby thought he saw steam rolling out of her ears. Maybe it was just a slight fog from all of the frozen animals meeting the warm air, but he couldn’t be sure.
“Well.....” Bobby had run out of options and excuses. For the first time in his life, he was on the receiving end for one of his ploys. Sure, Trixie occasionally sought revenge, but there was still a sibling bond of love in his favor. There was no bond or an ounce of love in his favor this time.
“Robert Belden, you male-chauvinist pig. Mark my words you are going to regret this. Just like your brother here, you rooted around and found trouble. And trouble is going to cost you big time.”
Lauren turned back around and to Bobby’s surprise finished dissecting the pig. She refused to let him assist. Bobby wasn’t sure what to do or exactly what she meant about costing him big time. At the moment, he was afraid to ask. So, he settled for watching while this little whirlwind made him feel two-feet tall and like an idiot. Several classmates kept glancing over at him with pity and disgust, as if he couldn’t handle working on a dead pig. Bobby sighed, his earlier observation had been right. This chick was nothing but trouble.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, Bobby didn’t realize he was about to get burnt...........
~~~~~~~~
Bobby settled down into his normal seat in the lecture hall. Lauren was already here. Overachiever, Bobby snorted. He noticed there were graded papers at everyone’s seat. Realizing this was the promised lab procedure grade, Bobby sat up a little straighter and picked his up to skim through it. He heart hit the floor as he realized he’d failed his assignment. A quick glance told him Lauren had aced hers. The little stool pigeon, she must have ratted him out as promised.
Secretly seething inside at this irritating female, he waited until class was dismissed to approach the professor about his grade and explain that Lauren had refused to let him help.
“Professor Clark?” Bobby hesitantly began. A few students still remained in the lecture hall, gathering their things.
“Yes, Mr. Belden?” Professor Clark squinted through his obtuse spectacles.
“Sir, I wanted to speak with you about this failing grade you gave me for the lab procedure. You see, I -”
“Failing grade? Let me see that, my boy,” Professor Clark took the paper and closely studied it. “Ah, Mr. Belden I believe you missed something.”
“Well, sir, I realize that maybe I -”
“No, son, you see, no one failed that procedure. Most of what was dissected was still identifiable, so I let everyone pass. But on to the point, I believe someone is playing a trick on you, Mr. Belden. I don’t think you spell your name with an I, now do you?” Professor Clark exercised great restraint as his point hit home and he didn’t crack a smile.
“There, there, son. Don’t worry about it. Everyone received a C or better. I’m sure you did fine,” Professor Clark patted Bobby on the back, urging him out of the lecture hall.
“Thank you, sir. I’m sorry to have wasted your valuable time,” Bobby’s face had turned red from anger and embarrassment.
“Nonsense, lad. I enjoyed the laugh. Any idea who would do such a thing?” Professor Clark’s eyes twinkled.
“Yes. A very good idea exactly who would do such a thing.”
Bobby parted company with Professor Clark, to round a corner and find the ‘who’ he had been thinking about.
“You,” Bobby growled accusingly.
Lauren batted her eyelashes in innocence. “Something wrong, Bobby?”
“You know good and well what’s wrong. You made me look like a fool in there.”
“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to play with fire, Robert?” Lauren tauntingly called over her shoulder.
“And didn’t your mother ever teach you how to act like a lady?” Bobby snapped.
Lauren’s tinkling laugh floated back to him.
Walking to his dorm, Bobby began to plot revenge. Enough was enough. It was time to unleash the devilish six-year-old still trapped in his soul.