Shish KeBobbied
By Country Girl
"Hey, Bobby, you still got that hair? I got a hot date tonight and thought I might fancy up." Spike snickered as he leaned over the lunch table where Bobby sat waiting on Larry and Terry to join him.
"What? What hair?" Bobby stared at Spike like he'd grown two heads.
"The Bobbi with an I hair, dude. The wig." Spike chortled.
Bobby saw red and swore. Before Spike could say another word, Bobby stalked over to the table where Lauren sat.
"Lauren, I'd like a word with you," Bobby growled.
"Free country," she shrugged.
"Will you please quit mentioning the Bobbi with an I episode?"
"Maybe, if you'd ask nicely instead of glaring at me," Lauren calmly gathered her trash and rose. "I'd love to chat, Bobby, but there's a sorority meeting in a few minutes and I don’t want to be late. Enjoy lunch," she winked.
"Enjoy lunch? Are you mad? I can't enjoy lunch with you sharing my embarrassing story with every Tom, Dick, and Spike," Bobby ran his fingers agitatedly through his short cut hair.
"Oh, go find your fellow piglets and whine at somebody else.” Lauren breezed out the cafeteria doors to catch up with her fellow sisters.
Bobby returned to the lunch table still seething and rolled his eyes. Obviously, she was still settling the score over Anatomy class. He really should have thought that one through more. He'd been too desperate for revenge that he hadn’t thought through the plan clearly and meticulously.
When Bobby arrived back at the lunch table, Spike was long gone, but Larry and Terry had shown up.
"Dude, you look like that hen your mom used to have when Reddy got too close to her chicks," Terry laughed.
"Shut up," Bobby snapped.
"Whatever, he was just trying to help. No need to rip his head off, Bobster.” Larry glared.
Suddenly the dark storm clouds parted and a ray of sunshine shined in Bobby's world. "Actually, you're right. I do need some help. You two interested in exploiting a little revenge?" Bobby waggled his eyebrows. Why hadn't he thought of this before? The Lynch twins and revenge were synonyms back in Sleepyside.
"You have to ask," Larry snorted.
"Count us in," Terry agreed.
So, hushed whispers fell over the friends as Bobby brought them up to speed on Lauren. Larry and Terry were disgusted and amused that Bobby had deserted them, but they were more interested in plotting against Lauren for the time being.
"So Lauren's the one who sent up the red flag?" Terry queried.
"Yeah, you should've seen the look on her face when she realized you two were running around the sorority house in drag and she hadn't noticed," Bobby grinned.
Larry narrowed his eyes in thought and slightly raised his eyebrow. It was an old signal between the twins and Terry blithely ran with Larry's thought.
"Well, since we are on good terms with Lisha and Paige again, why don't we have them do something to Lauren's room?" Terry casually suggested.
"They'll probably sell us out," Bobby commented around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
"He does have a point," Terry slightly raised his chin, sending Larry a message.
"Maybe they'd be game anyway. Both of our girlfriends weren't thrilled with the sisters when they used all of Lisha and Paige's stuff to dye our hair and paint us like weak warriors."
"Larry, you guys are weak warriors. You're both whipped," Bobby continued shoveling food in his mouth.
The twins narrowed their eyes and looked at each other. Bobby missed the mirrored images and secret messages as he finished his food and beat it to class after saying he would catch them later to finish brainstorming.
"We could just have Lisha and Paige trash her room," Larry suggested after Bobby left.
"Bob would never go for anything like that. He should've been a Bob-White for all of the fun he is." Terry was disgusted.
"Who said we were going to ask him?" Larry finished up the food on his plate.
"What? C'mon, Larry, he's obviously got the hots for her. She's the first girl that could ever continually one up him and he's frustrated because he doesn't know what to do with her. If we trash her room, he's going to be livid."
"Serves him right for deserting us when we were having girl troubles of our own. I'm going to find Lisha and set things in motion. He's just lucky we're settling for this instead of taking it to the fraternity," Larry sauntered off to pitch his trash with Terry trailing in his wake. Terry had to admit, Larry had a point. Deserting a friend in need, was deserving of revenge indeed.
"Anyway, this may be the catalyst needed to defuse all of that energy between Bobby and Lauren. We'd be doing the boy a favor," Larry released an evil chuckle while his twin settled for a slightly wicked laugh.
~~~~~~~~
The revenge plan temporarily forgotten due to midterm week, Bobby wasn't expecting the slap in the face he received at dinner a week later. He looked up to find an irate Lauren standing over him.
"Bobby Belden, you are the lowest dog to ever slink around on the earth. Your mother would be ashamed."
Bobby wasn't sure what she was berating him about, but she was doing a good job of making him feel guilty. He held up his arms to fend off more blows.
"Lauren! Stop! What are you doing?" He wildly glanced around to find that most of the dinner crowd was already gone and only a few witnesses remained. He'd been so intent on studying, he hadn't noticed the late hour.
"What am I doing? What about you? What are you doing?" she screeched.
It was then he noticed her smudged mascara and teary eyes. Inwardly, he heaved a sigh. He hadn't grown up with a sister for nothing. Even the toughest had a meltdown every now and then. If he could only figure out what this meltdown had to do with him, then maybe he could help Lauren out.
"Uh, I was studying for midterm week," he held up his hands in surrender. He was slightly surprised when Lauren plopped down in the chair beside them. No matter how many times he'd witnessed Trixie's meltdowns after having an argument with Jim; he still wasn't sure what to do with a tearful female.
"Sure you were," Lauren sighed and a fat tear rolled down her cheek. She turned to face him. "Why did you do it?" she whined.
"Do what?" Bobby fought the exasperated urge to strangle her. He was on very uneven ground here.
"I thought we were friends," Lauren sniffled.
"Well, we are," Bobby replied. Then, he revised that statement when he noted her look of alarm. "That is if you want to be. It's totally up to you. Here take my chocolate cupcake as an offering." Bobby gave up. He was hopeless and couldn't fight off the feeling of panic when she started crying. He hoped the snack on his plate would calm her down. His father always said chocolate was the only thing that ever cheered up an emotional female.
"Of course I want to be! But you're the one acting like a jerk. A mean, old jerk. I'd like to jerk you around," she mumbled to herself.
Bobby picked up the offered cupcake, afraid she hadn't heard his peace offering. "Cupcake?"
"That your nickname for her already?" Terry whizzed by and snagged a piece of conversation on his way to the late night snack bar.
Lauren and Bobby both shared a confused look and turned to look at Terry.
"Huh?" Bobby asked.
"I guess Larry was right. We really did you a favor."
"What are you talking about, Terry?" Bobby was really confused. Lauren flipping out on him and then crying was bad enough, but now Terry was babbling about something random. Bobby felt like he'd fallen down the proverbial rabbit hole.
"Oh, where we trashed Lauren's room. We went to visit Lisha and Paige and pretended to leave so we could trash Lauren's room for trashing our appearances and reputations the other weekend," Terry inhaled his food while he shared their diabolical plan, unaware he was digging himself in deeper and deeper by the second.
Lauren opened her mouth with fire in her eyes, but Bobby hurriedly placed a hand over it. He wanted the rest of the story.
"You guys always did have a way with revenge," Bobby off-handedly commented.
"Yeah, we killed two birds with one stone. Two love birds. We knew you'd never go for it, not with how you constantly mimic justice Jim and believable Brian. So Larry decided we'd get you back, too, by trashing Lauren's room. We knew it'd make you mad since you obviously - " Terry quit speaking and eating as he realized everything he'd revealed. He wasn't used to keeping Bobby out of the loop and Bobby had extracted valuable information out of him with minimal effort.
Bobby smirked when Terry's eyes grew as huge as saucers and he realized all that he had shared. Lauren shot Bobby an appreciative glance for gaining the information and removing his hand from her mouth. He did leave his arm across the back of her chair.
While Terry was momentarily speechless, Lauren leaned close to Bobby's ear. "I didn't peg you for such crafty ingenuity," she whispered.
"Well, you pegged me wrong," he impishly winked.
"Hey, lovebirds, could we keep this between us?" Terry interrupted.
"Maybe," Bobby mischievously grinned.
"For the right price," Lauren smirked.
Terry tugged at his collar. The Lynch twins never had liked being indebted to Bobby because payment usually wasn't pleasant, even back when it seemed like they were forever six.
"Not an ounce of goodness or charity?" Terry countered.
"Not a drop," Bobby answered while Lauren crossed her arms.
"Fine. Whatever you want. I have to get back to mine and Larry's room before he thinks something is up. I’ll settle up with you later, Bobby,” Terry began to walk away.
Lauren turned around with a thunderous expression on her face for being left out of the payment. "What about me? I was part of that deal," she pouted.
Feeling like a maverick, Bobby leaned down and kissed her pouting lips. "Leave it to me. He'll pay in spades."
Lauren narrowed her eyes approvingly. "Bobby Belden does have a dashing dark side."
"You don't know the half of it, Cupcake. We'll get revenge on them."
"I'm not so sure you can manage that, Bobby," she argued. "After all, you didn't even get revenge on me and I have a feeling those two are quite the scheming pair."
"Maybe I wasn't after revenge with you."
"Then what were you after? You made me dissect that stinking pig."
"Maybe I was after your attention."
"Yeah, right," Lauren snorted.
"Anyway," Bobby sidestepped, "between the two of us, I'm sure we can settle the score with the Lynch twins."
"And how do you plan for us to do that?"
"Well, for starters, if they think we're lovesick fools, then they won't be on their guard."
"Continue," Lauren urged.
"So, we wait until they think we're hopelessly in love, and then we pounce. They won't even realize the trap is there until after it's been sprung."
"So what is the trap going to be?"
"Homecoming."
"How's homecoming a trap?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"Their family will be in town for it."
"So? So will yours."
"True. I'm glad you said that. My brother Mart still owes them one for another time Larry and Terry were in drag."
"They dress up in drag often?" Lauren dryly questioned.
"Only if the occasion arises," Bobby snickered.
"Will Mart help you?"
"Are you kidding? He's the master. And the last time those two were in drag, they really ticked Mart off by ruining......never mind. Just trust me on this. Mart will be all for evening the odds with the twins." Bobby grinned knowingly.
"I hope so, otherwise, I'll have to call in the ranks of sisters."
"No worries, Larry and Terry will regret messing with us."
"If you're sure, but I'm warning you Bobby, don't mess this up," Lauren once again held a gleam in her eye. A gleam Bobby was pretty sure he didn't like.
"Fine, just be sure you can do your part and pretend to moon over me," Bobby countered.
"I've been pretending to like you for a while now, you pig. Now, please remove your arm from my shoulders. Don't think I didn't notice how casually you placed your arm on the back of my chair and then my shoulders," Lauren chided.
"Fine, Cupcake, I see how it is," Bobby began gathering his things to leave.
"And don't you forget it," Lauren sniffed, raising her chin.
"Yeah, and don't you forget how much you enjoyed it," Bobby whispered in her ear with a low chuckle.
Lauren jerked away with wide eyes. Bobby just laughed and headed toward the door. He’d thrown her carefully sculpted world off balance.
"Bobby Belden behave yourself," she scolded with flaming cheeks as she followed him out the door.
"If you wanted me to behave myself, then you would have elbowed me back there or else slapped me. Which reminds me, don't ever slap me again."
"You are very wrong, Robert. And as for the slap, you deserved it for the pig incident," Lauren tilted her chin up in a proud manner.
"Don't call me that!" Bobby commanded.
"Let's get a few things straight. I did not enjoy having your arm around me or that kiss. I was only speechless because of how repulsive it was, Robert. It didn’t do a thing to me."
"Is this how it is with you? Sheesh, Lauren, let it go. You have control issues with your nagging,” Bobby exasperatedly sighed, feeling like strangling her again.
"I do not have control issues, Robert."
"I said not to call me that." Annoyed, Bobby felt like he was fighting with Trixie over his name like when they were kids. Too bad he hadn’t realized her own hated name then.
"Robert." A little too cheery for Bobby’s taste, Lauren seemed to have latched onto one of the few things that could really hit a nerve.
"Do you know how childish this is? Grow up," Bobby rolled his eyes.
"I am grown up."
"Then act like it," Bobby snorted.
"I am acting like it. You're the child."
"Could a child do this?" Fed up with how her moods jumped around this evening and his own reaction, Bobby did the only thing he could think of. He switched from defense to offense. Fortunately, his offense worked.
With a flourish, Bobby threw his things onto the ground and stole another kiss. He only chuckled when Lauren let her lips linger near his after their kiss.
"Doesn't do anything to you, right." After retrieving his dropped items from the ground, Bobby smugly strolled away into the night, leaving a befuddled Lauren behind. He knew soon enough she would be nipping at his heels demanding respect and for him to stop doing that. Doesn't mean I have to listen, Bobby thought to himself with a roguish grin. They may be after revenge on the Lynch twins, but he was still after revenge with Miss Independent and all of her trouble making self.
“We’ll see how good you are at pretending, Cupcake,” Bobby spoke into the night air. The stars twinkled above him as he realized the joyful possibility of a revengeful relationship with Lauren.