It's In His Eyes
By Emma
‘I don’t think I can do this anymore Katie,’ he said, rubbing his hand across his face, unable to look her in the eye. ‘I know this going to hurt but I think this…’ He gestured between the two of them to make his point, ‘staying the same will hurt more in the long run.’
‘I love you,’ she whispered, the tears were too heavy for her to try and scream like she wanted to.
‘I know. Come here.’ He motioned for her to come closer to him.
She shook her head before letting the tears come in the sobs which wracked her body. A physical sign of the pain she was feeling. After a minute she lifted her head to look at him through her tears, only to see a glint in the corner of his eyes.‘Can’t we try to make it work?’ she asked, only marginally louder than she had spoken before - mainly due to the fact she was farther across the room than she had been.
‘We have, haven’t we?’ he questioned, his voice cutting Katie to the quick. ‘We’ve been through this before, Katie, you’ve sat here and cried and promised me we wouldn’t fight like this again, that things would change and now we’re back here anyway. I don’t know what else to do.’
‘That’s easy for you to say.’ She could feel some of her strength coming back as she spoke. ‘I had to try. I’m the one who had to change things. I’m willing to fight for this, for us, but I can’t do it by myself.’
‘Well I can’t fight anymore, Katie.’
And with that she knew it was over, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it. ‘You never bothered to fight to begin with,’ were the words that passed her lips as she looked him in the eye and walked out the door, knowing that it also closed the door on their relationship, even if she wasn’t really ready to let it go.
***
Rebecca let herself into her friend’s room. She was incredibly grateful Katie had given her a spare key when she first moved into her apartment. Bec knew there would have been no chance of being able to get in today without her key. The past week had taken a toll on Katie and from the few brief phone conversations they had had in that time, Bec knew her friend was not doing well.
Crossing to the far side of the room, Bec raised the blind and flooded the room with light. As she turned to deal with Katie she noticed the pictures and handmade touches which decorated the room; photos of family and friends which covered the room showed happier times.
‘Come on, Katie, you have to get out of bed,’ Rebecca said as she tugged the blankets off her. Katie merely shook her head and pulled the blankets tighter against Rebecca’s pull. Giving in slightly, Rebecca climbed onto the bed and stroked her friend’s hair lightly.
‘I know you loved him, Katie, but you deserve better.’
‘Easy for you to say,’ came the curt reply.
Rebecca sighed. It had been over a week and she had barely seen her friend. ‘Katie, please, you need to do something. You can’t sit here wishing he’ll come back.’
‘I miss him,’ she said, her voice dropping lower than before.
‘I know,’ Rebecca replied as she continued to stroke Katie’s hair and listened to her friend sob again.
***
‘Thanks for tonight, Bec.’
‘It’s no problem, Katie. You know I’m always up for a girls’ night.’
Katie laughed softly from the passenger seat of the car. ‘Either that or you’re just here for the Thai.’
‘Well, either is possible. But it’s good to hear you laugh.’
Katie nodded, knowing exactly what Bec had been referring to. ‘Sometimes I miss him, you know, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I have to keep reminding myself that he chose this.’
‘I know you do, but you’re going to be just fine.’
‘So you keep saying,’ was Katie’s reply. Bec looked over at her friend as they stopped at a set of traffic lights. She was making small talk when she noticed Katie tense and sit further back into her seat. Following the blonde’s line of sight, Bec soon realised that her friend was still quite a way off being over the guy who broke her heart. Also, she thought, living in a town this size sucks when you can easily run into people you’d really rather not see.
***
Days had turned into weeks, which had no doubt become months. Katie noticed the pain had lessened. It wasn’t quite the knife into heart pain she had felt those first few weeks. It had gradually become more of a pulling at the stitches that were holding her heart together. She had decided this was positive but something was missing. After a little soul searching and a few unhelpful suggestions from work colleagues she had decided upon her course of action.
Katie reverse parked her car with ease in the park across the road from her hairdresser. For years, probably longer than she could easily remember, her hair had been long, normally midway down her back. She had realised lately she wanted a change. She needed a change. Entering the hairdresser’s, she gave her name and was shown to a chair towards the back of the salon. Sitting down, she smiled at herself in the mirror and upon a short discussion with the stylist it was quickly decided that they needed to get started.
She spoke with the hairdresser as inches of her hair landed on the floor. Taking one last look at herself in the mirror as she walked to the basin, she farewelled her blonde hair and settled into the comfortable chair. After all, getting her to leave with auburn hair was going to take some time.
***
The months had passed, rather quickly it seemed at times. Her red hair had faded back to its more natural blonde and her smile had grown wider. Her weekly trip to run a youth group was the highlight of her week. After all, there was nothing like getting dressed up in garbage bags by preteens to make you forget about a bad week.
Katie smiled as she sang along to the song on the radio. She allowed her mind to wander sometimes, back in time, and she smiled. After all, she had won the bet they made not long before they broke up, the one regarding who would pay off their car faster.
Well, to be honest, she didn’t know for certain, but given he would be less than a year into a five-year loan she was fairly convinced she had. Not to mention she would be buying a house, well, not really a house, she corrected herself, more like a unit and probably a really crappy one at that. These things all made her smile. Having heard so much about plans with him she was pleased to see that hers were actually coming to fruition.
She had started a new job; one that she hoped would allow her to further her career, especially when she decided what she actually wanted to do. Not to mention an incredibly supportive team who had used some rather colourful language to describe the people she once nearly classed as family. She was unbelievably glad to have never actually called them that.
She knew she was going to be okay, well, better than okay really. If only she could fill that one gap that she felt was still inside her.
***
‘This is fun,’ Katie stated as she and Rebecca approached the bar to get some drinks during intermission.
‘I told you it would be,’ Bec replied with a smirk.
‘Yeah, well, I hadn’t expected it to be this good.’ Katie was actually glad she had been convinced to go to the local production of The Sound of Music. Leisel had been played by one of the girls she had mentored whilst at school and she was very proud of all the young woman had accomplished. Katie’s train of thought was broken as she heard the bartender ask what she wanted.
‘Vodka Orange,’ she replied as she dug through her wallet to extract the correct change. She heard Rebecca place her order and looked up to continue her conversation. Katie’s eye caught that of the bartender as he began to prepare their respective drinks. It wasn’t until Rebecca nudged her in an attempt to bring her back to reality that she realised she must have been staring. Accepting the drink as soon as it was placed in front of her, Katie quickly turned away from the bar to find somewhere to sit. She also hoped that Rebecca would follow her quickly, as she could feel her face turning rather red.
As they returned to their seats as the intermission drew to an end, Katie’s mind filtered back to the man behind the bar. He was rather attractive, she thought. Something about those eyes which had caught hers stood out clearly in her memory. Maybe it was the way she thought they could see right into her soul, or maybe it was the way that he looked right into her eyes and didn’t run his eyes up and down her body like many others had. The other option of course was that they reminded her of him.
‘Sooooooo,’ drawled Rebecca as they finally reached their seats.
‘So what?’ was the curt reply Katie gave, even though she knew exactly what her friend had referred to.
‘He spilt the drink he was pouring, watching you walk away, you know.’
‘I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Bec.’
‘Yes, you do. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. Now I think you still have enough time to go and get me some chocolate before this show starts.’
Katie began to protest but quickly gave in, snatching the money out of her friend’s hand and making her way against the flow of people towards the auditorium doors.
She smiled as she noticed he was still there and had yet to notice her. She adjusted her dress slightly in an attempt to remove the creases that had formed through the first half of the show. She also noted that the few people remaining near the bar as she exited the auditorium were now returning to their seats, and she was sure the ushers were going to close the doors any minute. However, she had come back out for chocolate, or that’s what she was telling herself anyway.
‘Back again already?’
‘My friend wants chocolate,’ Katie explained as she leaned on the bar, her smile reaching her eyes for the first time in a long time.
‘Well, you came to the right place,’ the bartender said as he motioned behind him to the display.
Katie mentally cursed herself for not learning how to flirt better when she was at school. ‘What do you recommend?’
‘Depends what you’re after,’ the man replied as he moved directly in front of her.
Bec was going to give her a ribbing for this later, Katie was convinced. She was going to make some mention of her having a type, that’s for sure. Even she had noticed the resemblance to the guy who had broken her heart. The eyes, the hair, but there was something about the man standing in front of her that was different, something that captivated her.
‘You’re going to miss the end of the show you, know.’
‘I know,’ Katie replied, extending her hand across the bar, ‘My name’s Katie.’
He grasped her hand and shook it, ‘Pleasure to meet you, Katie. I’m Win.’